My story of Ry begins at the end. Maybe that’s good- no surprises. Ry was our 4th boxer. Yes we seem to have a blind spot for the breed. There is something that happens to our hearts when we see one. I mean, anyone, anywhere in the world. We go boxer goo goo. So sad to see two adults, well, really just one because my husband shows some restraint. whereas I will get down on all fours to play with a boxer on a ferry, a park, the side of a road, a restaurant, to name a few.

We lost our magnificent boxer Ry to cancer just shy of his 5th year. We celebrated him and his life everyday he was alive. I’m writing this story to share with every pet lover. Ry was a tall beautiful brindle boxer boy. He was wild and loved to play, mainly tug of war with all his toys and ball. If he saw a ball his heart would skip a beat with happiness. A very social dog, who loved to French kiss every person he met. What a tongue that dog had.

My husband had developed a lump on the left side of his face. A benign tumor, and at the same time I felt a large lump in Ry’s neck. I thought of course would be benign as well.

I felt both my guys should have these little nuisances removed ASAP. Ry was taken to our Vet who upon looking and feeling the lump, announced this is CANCER. She aspirated the lump sent it to the lab. She called the next day with the bad news and insisted I see the leading cancer Vet in the area. Through my tears and broken heart I moved forward. My girlfriend Ming and I took Ry to the cancer specialist. Anyone who has ever had a sick animal knows the hell I’m in at this moment. Sitting in the waiting room, truly sick to my stomach, out comes the Vet assistant. She takes us to the examining room and starts with all this jargon that you cannot decipher because you have become a puddle on the floor of despair. Somehow she gets me to agree to chemotherapy for Ry. This first round begins NOW. Ming and I go next door in a state of dazed confusion, drink a soda and cry and cry somemore. Finally its time to pick up by boy and pay $895.00 for the treatment. Then they go through a few more things and more $$$. They give me all these medications for me to follow daily with cautions, “do not touch, may cause cancer”. Well, hello, are these people nuts?! They take more $$$ and push us out the door and will see us in 3-4 weeks. Ry is out of it. No big surprise there. When we get home the sweetest thing happens, Ry comes in, and his best pal, Sammy Diva, a pretty blond lab goes to him and licks every site that had been injected. Ry lays down and Sammy lays next to him. What a comfort to watch the two of them.

We survived Ry’s 1st round of chemo. It did take awhile for all the water blisters to finally drain, or become reabsorbed into his body.

I began his home medication regiment, of course wearing gloves during every step. Ry began playing again, and all was good in doggy land. A deep bond developed with Ry and I. It was always there, but I became more tuned in.

Now we are back at the cancer vet, and they want me to leave Ry for 3-4 hours while they administer his chemo. I can’t just drive away, so I find a little day spa across the street. Off I go for whatever treatment they can give me to occupy my mind and heart for the next 3-4 hours. Facial, foot massage, yes, yes, yes…. time to pick up my boxer boy. Not so fast… wait pay his $897.00 bill, and the vet’s assistant would like a few words. O. K. , I agree because all I want to do is take Ry home, and I feel like they are holding him hostage until I consent to this conversation. She starts with all these new meds he will need now along with a schedule of his chemo treatments. Her talk continues with her telling me how many thousands of dollars this is going to cost. I think her projection was $10-$14 thousand dollars. Understandable, but I wanted to know how long, and what quality of life would my most precious boy have. See for me I was lucky, the money would not be an issue. Ry was worth ever penny, but I wanted to know what we would be getting for those $$$. Then the question for me was ‘how much longer will these painful, and difficult process give him of life? She looked at me like wow what a wild question, and then answered it with 2, maybe 3 months more. I’m astonished to hear this. At this moment out comes Ry so sick looking, with these huge water blisters all over him. He’s so wiped I need to carry him to the car , all 65lbs of him. All I want to do is flee this place. We drive away, and as we put some distance between him and the house of horrors. We arrive home and Ry is so tired all he can do is pee, and collapses. After he wakes I offer him food and he eats it. Then about ten minutes later he begins to projectile vomit for 10 long minutes. I think the worst is over, and then my poor baby starts to heave and retch. This goes on for at an hour. I call the Vet in a panic, and they tell me this is normal. He has run out into the yard where he spent the last hour vomiting. I start to tear through all the medication we have. I know I have something to give him some relief from this pain he is in. I’m pleading with God to help my poor suffering Ry. Yes, I find the medication I am looking for , and give him the injection. His retching is subsiding, and I hold him with all the love I have in me.

Now I’m thinking back to my conversation with the veterinary assistant. Letting my sweet, wonderful pet suffer like this for maybe 2 or 3 extra months. What kind of life would that be? What line of reasoning makes sense of this claim?

I call my husband at work, which is medical center. I fill him in on Ry’s horrible day. He is able to get some medicine they use for nausea in cancer patients. Ry is a cancer patient, so he needs this medication. I hear that it is very expensive. So what, I will do whatever it take to help my dog end this pain. We both feel generous, and charitable towards Ry. There is no limit to my devotion, and commitment to Ry’s well being.

Sad to say, he suffers for several more days with the aftermath of his chemo. I give him the zofran, which is the anti nausea drug, and it dissolves immediately on his tongue. They do help relieve some of his nausea. Mainly I hold him with all the loving kindness I have. We continue to connect during this time. It reaches another level of awareness in me.

Ry and I make a decision to Stop All chemo, and cancer treatments. All Ry wants to do is live his life playing ball, eating treats, and hanging out with his beloved sister Lucy, and pal Sammy Diva. It is the quality of life that matters not the quantity of it.

My beautiful boxer Ry is back to playing, and eating . Our wild boy is back home, jumping playing, sleeping, and living the good life. All is right in Ry’s world.

My husband arrives home, and I give him the good news about finding his “unicorn.” I even show him the photo, and he is pleased with the black boxer boy. He gets the privilege of naming the dog. He tells me that will wait until he meets him at the end of the week.

Life goes back to normal with a puppy in the house. Ry is playing and ignoring the puppy pretty much.

Ry is still hanging out with his sister Lucy and best pal Sammy Diva. He is still unsure about the little black fur that seems to follow him around. Ry seems by all accounts healthy, no complaints in food, playing and in the joy of living. Life is good. Sadly things come to an end. One Wednesday evening, we all get ready for bed. Go to bed as usual.  Ry was at the kennel club with the girls playing that day. Everyone came home. 

He had his treats. Lucy and Ry both went to bed. As well as the puppy in the crate. Ry went to sleep on the bed. Around 10pm, Ry woke me gagging. I immediately jumped up and he got out of bed. I thought he was going to vomit but he didn’t. He was having trouble breathing. He was a wreck and couldn’t catch his breath. I woke my husband who observed him and said he was gasping. But we didn’t know why. I think this is what we call denial. Right? Well, we all go back to bed, Ry settled down after an hour. But he goes downstairs. I go downstairs with him. I hold him in my arms on the couch knowing I’m loving him good bye. His breathing is really weak and shallow. Morning comes, Ry seems better but not hungry. This is not like him. I had an errand to do in the morning. Mark had already planned on picking up the dogs. I let Ry go to the kennel because he is loved and cared for there and I don’t want to leave him home alone.  I am worried about Ry. Mark’s wife Ming calls me and tells me Mark noticed that Ry was very weak, slow getting out of the car. Ry was not his usual self. I call the Kennel Club after my errand. Within myself I knew this was my time to let Ry go. I told the Kennel Club I was coming for Ry but not the girls. They wanted to know why. I told them that I was going to have Ry put to sleep. Then the tears started. But it really worked out well. Everyone at the Kennel Club loved Ry and was able to say good bye to him with lots of hugs and tears. 

Picking up Ry was difficult. The staff hated to let him go but they could see how weak he was that day.

I lifted Ry into the car, put his head in my lap and we drove to the Vet. I had already called ahead to tell them I was coming. They had a room ready for us. We went in. Ry laid his head in my lap and surrendered long before an IV ever appeared. He was so at peace with leaving his body with the cancer behind.  The Vet had told me that the tumors had started to crush his lungs and that is why he had trouble breathing. It would be more painful and more difficult. How could I possibly not love him enough to let him go. After the Vet administered the IV to put Ry to sleep. I had Ry’s head in my lap. My arms were around him. The Vet then said to me, he’s gone. I told him, no, he’s not. The Vet then picked up his scope to listen and said, you are right. He gave him some more medicine and at that moment, I could feel his spirit leave. Now he is gone, but never forgotten. The Vet asked me if I would like his collar. No, I was taking him with me in my heart forever. I truly believe the silent connection and communication that I developed with Ry during his illness is what led me to learn reiki.